Just Matt!
Okay, so in kind of a spur of the moment decision, I figured I'd remove all the other people from my blog. No one other than me really posted anyway and now I figure it'll be JUST my blog rather than a conglomerate of people that never really add to it anyway and mostly have their own blog to post on. So now it's really "just Matt!".
Brings to mind a few things really, all these people never did have blogs before. Some of them joined mine and created their own and others started up and then wanted on mine. But why does everyone make blogs? Many people criticize them because people write their personal thoughts into a post where others can read it. I have come to the conclusion that absolutely everyone that writes anything personal down in blogs wants people to find out, I think that yes on the surface they may say that they don't, they may disguise names or use some other way of explaining a situation so there's room for doubt. But deep down they have this urge...No, not urge more like hope, for the person they're thinking of to read it and come to some strange realization that the poster was right. I want every one of you to think really hard about it, you know it's true. And if you said that it wasn't then you're just lying to yourself. I know that despite what I like to say that if you read this blog I won't talk about you, I don't really mean that. It is for this reason that I resolve to be more confrontational, not in a negative way by attacking a person, but just to say exactly what I think. So if I don't agree with you on something you say, I'm going to tell you that I don't agree. There's going to be no more of this "oh yea, that sure sucks and life is unfair", it'll be "maybe you should have considered this". And I say screw the people that don't like it, I'm tired of holding back the things I want to say for the sake of peaceability.
I've come to a lot of realizations this year, I always knew I was bad for breaking away from people. But now I'm thinking of actively doing it rather than just letting it happen, the truth is that for the most part I just don't care about most people and what happens to them over time. I don't care what happens or has happened to people I went to highschool with, I don't care what happens to a friend of a friend. But I do, on the other hand care about those that are close to me. Usually that is, sometimes I just want to quit trying with some people, they just aren't worth the effort I put in.
I've been tired lately and I know it's because I'm mentally drained. Not from school, I can still do most of the stuff from school relatively easily, which kind of tells me I'm on the right path. But I've had too many thing rushing through my head. Entirely WAY too many things go through my head in a day it's hard to keep things straight(I'm not stressed really, my mind is just...Busy). That's why I love my school work, I get into it and nothing else exists for me other than figuring out where that next account goes or what the accrued interest will be at period end and what adjustment must be made to the journal. I know most people don't like accounting, but I really do. Oddly it really does help me get away from everything else, it just makes sense to me and I don't HAVE to think about it most of the time. But that's not really important, I think things are going to improve, I finally got something out that really needed to be...Well...Gotten out (and again thank you for listening it really did help). And while yes it IS 1 in the morning, I do plan on going to bed and already I've had a couple of really good nights of sleep without waking up even more tired. I know it was really getting to be a problem, people would see me and see noticeable differences, I lacked a certain energy I once had. So I AM hoping that things will get better, but I guess that time will tell with that. I just need to get my thoughts under control.
-Matt
Brings to mind a few things really, all these people never did have blogs before. Some of them joined mine and created their own and others started up and then wanted on mine. But why does everyone make blogs? Many people criticize them because people write their personal thoughts into a post where others can read it. I have come to the conclusion that absolutely everyone that writes anything personal down in blogs wants people to find out, I think that yes on the surface they may say that they don't, they may disguise names or use some other way of explaining a situation so there's room for doubt. But deep down they have this urge...No, not urge more like hope, for the person they're thinking of to read it and come to some strange realization that the poster was right. I want every one of you to think really hard about it, you know it's true. And if you said that it wasn't then you're just lying to yourself. I know that despite what I like to say that if you read this blog I won't talk about you, I don't really mean that. It is for this reason that I resolve to be more confrontational, not in a negative way by attacking a person, but just to say exactly what I think. So if I don't agree with you on something you say, I'm going to tell you that I don't agree. There's going to be no more of this "oh yea, that sure sucks and life is unfair", it'll be "maybe you should have considered this". And I say screw the people that don't like it, I'm tired of holding back the things I want to say for the sake of peaceability.
I've come to a lot of realizations this year, I always knew I was bad for breaking away from people. But now I'm thinking of actively doing it rather than just letting it happen, the truth is that for the most part I just don't care about most people and what happens to them over time. I don't care what happens or has happened to people I went to highschool with, I don't care what happens to a friend of a friend. But I do, on the other hand care about those that are close to me. Usually that is, sometimes I just want to quit trying with some people, they just aren't worth the effort I put in.
I've been tired lately and I know it's because I'm mentally drained. Not from school, I can still do most of the stuff from school relatively easily, which kind of tells me I'm on the right path. But I've had too many thing rushing through my head. Entirely WAY too many things go through my head in a day it's hard to keep things straight(I'm not stressed really, my mind is just...Busy). That's why I love my school work, I get into it and nothing else exists for me other than figuring out where that next account goes or what the accrued interest will be at period end and what adjustment must be made to the journal. I know most people don't like accounting, but I really do. Oddly it really does help me get away from everything else, it just makes sense to me and I don't HAVE to think about it most of the time. But that's not really important, I think things are going to improve, I finally got something out that really needed to be...Well...Gotten out (and again thank you for listening it really did help). And while yes it IS 1 in the morning, I do plan on going to bed and already I've had a couple of really good nights of sleep without waking up even more tired. I know it was really getting to be a problem, people would see me and see noticeable differences, I lacked a certain energy I once had. So I AM hoping that things will get better, but I guess that time will tell with that. I just need to get my thoughts under control.
-Matt
posted by Happy Death at 1:08 a.m.
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