Thrown for a loop

As I sit here again things run through my mind. I'm procrastinating yet again during reading week, I had an entire week to study and prepare for midterms but of course I did nothing of the sort. I spent this week going out, working, drinking, and basically just trying not to think about school whatsoever. Why you might ask? Because I'm sick of it...Not school itself, but all the drama that seems to go hand in hand with it. I needed this break to get away from the people, you'd think that nearing 20 people would mature a little...But it seems some people are doomed to live in immaturity for a great part of their life.

This brings something else up...Today marks exactly 2 months until I turn 20. Strange that it's not such a big number, but still marks the end of my teenage years. I'm going to be an adult whether I like it or not. I get to move on and grow up, actually it's more like I HAVE to move on and grow up. It's a scary thought really...Me of all people, going to be an adult. Me of all people, is going to do something with myself. Left behind will be all my slacker days of old, all the days that I could get away with being a kid. You know what...Growing up seems to be more of an adventure, something new on the horizon that I can either look forward to or fear. Right now though, I'm just not going to think about it, I still have a couple years ahead of me while I'm in school and don't need to grow up quite yet. Hah! It's weird that I say I can't stand immaturity yet I myself don't want to grow up.

gods...I have so much to say right now but just find the words to say it all...I guess long story short things are good...Confusing (or they were) but good.

-Matt