Grinding

Alright, feel like bitching today...Lately it seems like I've really just needed to complain about a lot of things because they seem to be coming up more and more frequently.

First off I'd like to say that I really hate it when people talk down to me as if I'm an idiot. I mean honestly people how the hell do you think I became a damned honor student if I'm too stupid to tie my own shoe. Okay so maybe I just have "book smarts", doesn't mean a lick towards knowing how the "real world" works right? Ever consider that I really try to keep a lot of what I notice about people to myself? And considering how much I DO say, and rather bluntly I might add, that should lead you to assume that there's even more that I don't. As a rule, people really don't like hearing things about themselves unless it's positive, you know it's true...Everyone hates being cut down (I'll get to this later). And I never say anything about anyone without expecting it to get back to them, without fail it will happen. And so what if I like to act like a "clown", does this too automatically mean "he goofs off, therefore is ignorant of the world". The worst part is when you DO see a problem or just notice anything, it's always brushed off as coincidence or an exaggeration. Although I do enjoy someone that has taken ONE psychology course in university, suddenly becomes an expert on anything and everything.

Next is gossip. I HATE gossip. But not just the regular run of the mill gossip, I hate it especially when I tell something to a person, and they somehow feel the need to tell others. Even if what I told them applies to other people, I still think that if I wanted to tell them I can do it myself. There's probably a reason I hadn't told others and I don't need someone to do it for me I can work through that in my own time.

Now joking around and "poking fun" at people really seems to be common among friends right? But then...Sure you're just joking around but when it's the only thing you hear constantly it starts to wear thin and piss me off. Kind of a heads up...If I start snapping at you and just generally being a complete asshole, chances are that you've crossed WAY over this line and have already really started to piss me off. And fine, I DO make fun of myself from time to time, but that's not an open invitation to use the same thing over and over later because I used it and thusly justified it.

Seriously, I could probably keep going here but I do believe it is time for sleep.

-Matt

Choices

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life...

It's all about choices. In the end the only thing you can do for yourself is make your own choices. Yes that quote is overused and 10 years old now, but i figured it was appropriate. I've made many choices this year that have affected MANY aspects of my life. I chose to move, chose to give up on some people, and not give up on others. I've chosen a new lifestyle, new friends, new habits, and new hobbies. But still...I’m that same 16-year-old kid with my own unique outlook on everything. That same kid that doesn't understand the corruption around him, that same kid that always wants to help, and that same kid that seems to get things shoved back in his face. Why do I choose to care rather than take an apathetic approach? I embrace the fact that people are good, that there's always hope for everyone, that they can make the right choices for them. I don't judge, I turn a blind eye to faults, I choose to accept people for the good in them.

Why do i believe people are good? Because for every "bad" thing that happens, there are hundreds of acts of kindness that go without recognition. Today I witnessed one such event, a mother with her child started to fall down the escalator. Before even a second had passed, 4 people quickly grabbed her and the carriage before anything could happen. In that amount of time there wasn't any time to think, the people just acted. The little deeds are what truly add up, things as small as helping an old person get a seat on a bus, or a blind person to their destination when they are lost.

I made a choice. I chose to care...will you?

-Matt