Snowy nights?

We're still smack dab in the middle of the holiday season, and while the hustle and bustle of Christmas is pretty much over, there's still lots to do. Decorations need to be taken down, trees put away/thrown out, new bills to pay, and so forth. I think that Christmas has been lost on so many people, to so many it seems that it's just one big hassle. Finding gifts for everyone, sending cards to all those people, cooking for so many people. I think these people need to take a step back and rethink their Christmas, and as cliche as it might sound for me to say it, it should be a happy time. You shouldn't feel obligated to get presents for someone, if you get them something it should be because you genuinely want to and what's the meaning of a card if you send it to someone just because they sent one to you. And big meals to prepare? Maybe you should consider having everyone bring something instead of one person doing everything. Regardless of other people's views on christmas I still love it. fine it's exploited by large corporations, but still it is "the most wonderful time of the year" and to all you that critisize christmas carols of being over played you can just shove it alot of the songs have been around a lot longer than you have.

That all being put aside, i had an awesome christmas because I got to go home to my parents house for the night. And even though i had just gotten off an 8 hour shift at work where there was a constant rush of people buying alcohol last minute for the next day or that night AND spent the LARGE majority of the night helping my dad put in new flooring into my parent's house, i still had a great time. It was great to have breakfast as a family as well, that was something we almost never did when i was still at home, all 5 of us sitting around an actual table and not going off to different parts of the house to eat (oddly, all three kids moving out has drawn my family closer together). Early afternoon we left for St. Albert to my aunts house for dinner with the whole family, 30+ of us in one house. It was great, and i owned everyone at a mad game of operation, plus i got to see/pick on all my little cousins, that really seems like a cycle to me, the young annoy the older ones and the older pick on the younger ones. Then the young ones become the old ones and pick on the new young ones. Generally the night was all round good, and ended with me watching the entire star wars trilogy. That's a tradition for me now...I don't know why it started i just know that i do it every year and it never gets old.

i got to work the next few days...although when i came into work on tuesday i wanted to cry. We had fourteen pallets of beer come in, FOURTEEN!!!!! Now to put this into perspective for all of you that don't work in liquor stores, a regular order for beer at my store is 3-4 pallets and i can get that done in one night with no problem. A large order for my store is 6-7 pallets, this is where i have some difficulty and have to rush to get it done on time. Now 14 pallets...14 pallets is about the max amount of pallets that can fit into our warehouse that's already jam packed FULL of excess christmas stock. Normally after 7 pallets i'm so tired i just wnat to sleep, so for this i knew i'd need outside stimulation...my good friend Vitamin C...affein. by the end of the night i had taken more than 4 times the daily recommended dose of caffein and was litterally jumping all over the place. Although i DID get more done in one night than anyone thought i possibly could. There was just so much of it, i was making stacks of beer 8 feet high, i don't really think any of you have seen a stack of beer 8 feet high but let me tell you, when you actually look at it you think "wow that is A LOT of beer" it's really quite intimadating too. I don't think I'd ever been that hyper before, i was actually running all over the place, which when i think about it, was really stupid just because running with six 15-packs in your arms is a bad idea all together.

And today was my day off...finally got to use my gift cards that i got to buy clothes that i really needed and a hair cut too! woo! and i saw Narnia today! flipping sweet movie i'd say. I'd go into more detail but i'm tired right now.

-Matt

Allowance for Doubtful Accounts

So just the other day i found myself getting into a discussion with a friend from school about helping other people. Both of us saw eye to eye (which doesn't surprise me, we've both had VERY similar lives up to this point) on the fact that people that don't put the effort in on their own don't deserve help from someone else, i mean why should the person you ask to help you actually help you if you didn't care enough in the first place to help yourself? I've actually had this discussion a few times with different people when they start feeling guilty about me helping them all the time. Because despite me hating to help those that don't deserve it, i also want to see others succeed that actually try. So no i don't mind staying around for an extra 3 or 4 hours to help explain some of the more difficult concepts we've covered because i know they'll use whatever i tell them. But to that person that never tried...well it's just like i'm wasting my time, they don't put in effort to learn it in the first place then why would they care now? What? because they finally see that slacking is going to screw them over and they're going to fail the course? Fine, you're on your own now.

This actually just reminds me (in a very round about way) about differing views. They say the three things you should never discuss in a social environment are religion, politics, and money. And the way i see it it's true, those topics will start an arguement faster than anything else, and that arguement will be more heated than any other. And the reason for this is that people get angry when other's don't agree. but then it's stupid to expect everyone to see something the same way you do, and completely unreasonable to expect them to in the first place. maybe that's just me, but if people could just not get mad about people not agreeing then again...we'd be far better off.

Just Matt!

Okay, so in kind of a spur of the moment decision, I figured I'd remove all the other people from my blog. No one other than me really posted anyway and now I figure it'll be JUST my blog rather than a conglomerate of people that never really add to it anyway and mostly have their own blog to post on. So now it's really "just Matt!".

Brings to mind a few things really, all these people never did have blogs before. Some of them joined mine and created their own and others started up and then wanted on mine. But why does everyone make blogs? Many people criticize them because people write their personal thoughts into a post where others can read it. I have come to the conclusion that absolutely everyone that writes anything personal down in blogs wants people to find out, I think that yes on the surface they may say that they don't, they may disguise names or use some other way of explaining a situation so there's room for doubt. But deep down they have this urge...No, not urge more like hope, for the person they're thinking of to read it and come to some strange realization that the poster was right. I want every one of you to think really hard about it, you know it's true. And if you said that it wasn't then you're just lying to yourself. I know that despite what I like to say that if you read this blog I won't talk about you, I don't really mean that. It is for this reason that I resolve to be more confrontational, not in a negative way by attacking a person, but just to say exactly what I think. So if I don't agree with you on something you say, I'm going to tell you that I don't agree. There's going to be no more of this "oh yea, that sure sucks and life is unfair", it'll be "maybe you should have considered this". And I say screw the people that don't like it, I'm tired of holding back the things I want to say for the sake of peaceability.

I've come to a lot of realizations this year, I always knew I was bad for breaking away from people. But now I'm thinking of actively doing it rather than just letting it happen, the truth is that for the most part I just don't care about most people and what happens to them over time. I don't care what happens or has happened to people I went to highschool with, I don't care what happens to a friend of a friend. But I do, on the other hand care about those that are close to me. Usually that is, sometimes I just want to quit trying with some people, they just aren't worth the effort I put in.

I've been tired lately and I know it's because I'm mentally drained. Not from school, I can still do most of the stuff from school relatively easily, which kind of tells me I'm on the right path. But I've had too many thing rushing through my head. Entirely WAY too many things go through my head in a day it's hard to keep things straight(I'm not stressed really, my mind is just...Busy). That's why I love my school work, I get into it and nothing else exists for me other than figuring out where that next account goes or what the accrued interest will be at period end and what adjustment must be made to the journal. I know most people don't like accounting, but I really do. Oddly it really does help me get away from everything else, it just makes sense to me and I don't HAVE to think about it most of the time. But that's not really important, I think things are going to improve, I finally got something out that really needed to be...Well...Gotten out (and again thank you for listening it really did help). And while yes it IS 1 in the morning, I do plan on going to bed and already I've had a couple of really good nights of sleep without waking up even more tired. I know it was really getting to be a problem, people would see me and see noticeable differences, I lacked a certain energy I once had. So I AM hoping that things will get better, but I guess that time will tell with that. I just need to get my thoughts under control.

-Matt

A cup of Matt

Ever get to that point you just want to tell someone to stop being an idiot and you just can't? For one reason or another something is preventing you from saying exactly what came to mind in response to them. I get it all the time, at work that is. I mean to a certain extent I can tell people off if they're giving me some sort of grief but I still have to hold back on everything I want to say. While I can kick people out of the store and we don't adopt the "customer is always right" mandate, I still can't tell them where to go and what to do when they get there in more colorful language. I find myself making concessions all the time for the sake of being peaceable even though the whole time I want to scream "YOU'RE WRONG! JESUS HELL GOD DAMMIT JUST SHUT THE F*** UP AND LISTEN TO SOMEONE ELSE'S OPINION YOU STUCK UP IDIOT". But of course for some rather obvious reasons I don't do this. I don't think people would take it too kindly. I don't know, I don't want to get into this rant too much it'll just get me more worked up. Oh yea, again, just for your information, no I am NOT talking about you in this post. Again I reiterate, if there's ANY possibility that I might have the SLIGHTEST inkling that you may read this I'm NOT talking about you so piss off about that already. (those last two sentences being the exception to themselves)

Flashy and cool

Well to get you all in the christmas spirit i recommend you go look at This. it's pretty flipping awesome, just make sure you have sound.

-Matt

My days are numbered

Every day is more and more numbers, so many of them it's mind boggling. Ever wonder what it would be like with no established numerical system, I have and it would be impossible to get by. I wake up in the at 6, get ready and go catch the 401 bus at 7 take it to down town and get off on 100th street and 101 Ave, walk down 102 Ave to 101 street to catch the 9 at 7:30. Then I get to school and walk to the tower, walk up 4 flights of stairs to locker 41106 and spin in 3 more numbers into the combination lock to open it up. Mondays I walk up 1 more flight of stairs to class 509 for computers where I have to enter in a password with more numbers to get on. After, I walk down to my locker, put in the combination, and grab the rest of the books I'll need for the day. The day finishes and again I catch the 9 to go downtown and get off on 101 street and 103 Ave, then walk down 102 Ave to get to 100 street to catch the 401 to get back home. If I work I have to spin in the combination to the safe, pull out a tray and count money until I have the right amount. I would go out and someone could buy a 6-pack for 11.19 and pay with a 20, I'd have to give them 8.81 change and send them on their way. Then I'd return to putting away the order where I have to count each case that is assigned a certain number to identify it and keep track of how many bottles I put in the back. Later I may have to count how much beer is on the rack so I can out the right amount in, 12, 15, and 18 pack cans can have 19 on the rack but if they're turn sideways they can only have 9, 7 and 6 respectively. 12 pack bottles can have 9 or 12 depending on how they're turned, and flats can have 6 with four 6-packs each. Big rock is different, it can only have 18 six-packs of bottles because they're bigger...Or was it 20 because they're smaller. The night of work ends and again I count my tray, and count that which I have left over to see how much I made in the night. After that I go home, go to bed, and do it all over again the next day.

-Matt

Snap-clap-BAM!!!!

Posting seems a little tedious all of a sudden (in case you couldn't tell from my lack of doing it). Never know what to write, still don't. So I'll just post one of my oh-so-famous random stream of conscious posts of things that have happened to me in the past month. nothing really significant, but i'll write it as it pops into my head.

I've been really irritable lately, i know this, but can i stop it? not really, i find myself getting pissed off at people even though i know it's not them i'm actually pissed off at. For this i should probably apologize even some of them might not have even noticed that i was pissy at them, i hoppe that's true, it would make it a lot easier. took a little test in OB the other day, turns out i'm on a horrible horrible spiral of doom towards major burnout from stress and the like. I don't think i will, i tend to be able to handle stress really well, i've never had a breakdown before and i don't plan on doing it now. I find that the more stressed i get, the more reasons i look for to laugh. it helps i think, takes your mind off what's bothering you for a while and then lets you rethink the situation from a different angle, sometimes it's not as bad as you first think.

Work has provided some interesting little tidbits here and there, one thing is all the crazies that like to come in to the store when i work. take for instance the drunk that i had to spend 10 minutes explaining to him that he had to leave. I thought it was funny solely because he kept claiming that he wasn't drunk. or trying to explain to someone that no, we don't offer rain checks on sales, and no we don't have a case hiding in the back that we're setting aside to sell after the sale ends. or even telling someone "your ID is fake, i know this person and it's not you" yes...argue with me more, that will convince me.

oh the bus, i love it so dearly...not really. I mean it's always nice to run into someone you know on the bus and be able to talk to them on the ride home but you also get a more-than-fair share of crappy experiences too. such as missing your stop because guy infront of you is talking to his friends and won't get out of the way. Also, the bus has caused me to loath Vic. Comp. students. They're all loud and obnoxious and you just want to strangle them and their "unique individualism" because clearly all of them having dyed hair and peircings and various random clothing makes them special. that school is a haven for delusional misfits that think they're all grown up. this has also caused me to be more vocal about my opinion that it's not your clothes or style that make up who you are, but rather your actions and words. so you know what people that have a problem with you're hair not being appropriate or not being able to wear the clothes you want all the time. grow the hell up! they're material things that can be replaced at the drop of a hat, they have no value in a metaphysical sense and all the bitching and moaning in the world won't generate sympathy for you. yes...the "man" is trying to supress you, the world is unfair because they won't let you be an individual. maybe you should stop being such snot nosed brats and realise the whole world doesn't revolve around you, it's give and take. make some sacrifices, they're just clothes.

i think i'm going to start writting down key things i want to blog about just so i remember them long enough to put them to screen (psht! i thought it was funny you just don't get it) it's late now though. i need sleep.

-Matt